The Left and Right Hand of the Emperor
by MaijiMary Huang
Summary: The first Emperor of the Demon World's goal for the newly unified Makai? Civilize, modernize, and open formal relationships with the Human World. It's just another workday for Raizen and Mukuro's former generals as they tackle paperwork, meetings, and the occasional rogue demon threatening progress towards the Open Worlds Policy! [Kirin's perspective]


This is a submission to yyhfanfiction's Rare Topic Fanfic Contest (Under the tag #YYHFFRareFFcontext on tumblr), under the theme "post-barrier removal". This is technically a sequel to the story _The enemy of my enemy is my coworker_ and also makes reference to events from _Mirror Most Dark_ , but it can be read as a standalone piece.

You can see the full cover image at my tumblr or on AO3. (Please note: the cover art is NOT part of contest judging! However, I will be doing an illustration for one of the contest winners! And there are lots of other amazing prizes!)

* * *

The sigil implanted in my hand flickers.

It's a sensory effect, not a visual one, a tingling prickle under my skin. We have a system worked out with the flicker patterns, and this one is an alert _: note your surroundings_.

I look up.

Then I sniff the air, and frown behind my face mask. The scent wafting towards me is wrong.

"That's not what I ordered," I say.

My partner shrugs apologetically as he reaches the table. "They were out. I texted you five times -" he makes a perfunctory nod in the direction of my hand, resting on the table - "and I didn't want to hold up the line." He sets the sleeved cup down. "Try it, you might like it. If not, I promise I'll get you something else."

"You texted me?" I pull my phone out, flick the screen on and narrow my eyes.

Sure enough, there's a series of messages in the stream labelled "Hokushin". The first one reads, with his habit of starting conversations with a name even when there's no one else he could possibly be addressing: _Kirin 2 ppl ahead same order, they're out. Backup?_ And the last one: _Executive decision made._

Hokushin peers over. "Are you on silent?"

"Yes," I reply, annoyed with myself. Our work phones are state-of-the art devices - of course, because the Emperor is adamant about ensuring demons surf the cutting edge of Human World technology. It's a laudable attitude, but the reality is that you rarely have time to get used to something before the next supposed gamechanger is foisted upon you.

I fiddle ridiculously for a few seconds before finally setting the thing to vibrate. "Can't you just call me psychically?"

"No," he replies. "You'll get the hang of it soon enough."

He settles into the chair across from me, adjusting the lapels of his dark coat. Designer-brand, custom-tailored. As with all on-the-ground senior staff carrying active Human World assignments, we're dressed to the nines in bespoke high-end business attire. Another thing the Emperor is adamant about is professional appearances.

I flicker the matching sigil in his hand, and raise an eyebrow.

"That was a last resort to see if you'd check your phone," he replies.

"I _do_ check my phone," I say. "But not when another blasted system update changes all the settings. How does the Emperor expect people to keep up?"

"I have faith in you," he says. His genial tone makes it perfectly ambiguous as to whether his words are encouragement or sarcasm. "As does the Emperor. He's on the same update schedule we are."

There are many things you can say about His Imperial Majesty (HIM, for efficiency in modern business communications), but several stand out above all when describing the demon Enki. _Immensely powerful_ is an obvious one, and no surprise for an ancient demon of his stature. More interesting are the adjectives _open-minded_ and _forward-thinking._

Immediately after winning the inaugural Makai Unification Tournament, the Emperor formed a committee. Within one week they released his first official decree. It outlined the vision of the Open Worlds Policy, a future where the Human World would be fully aware of, and integrated with, the Reikai and Makai. It spoke of collaboration, innovation and leadership, of ensuring the Demon World not only prospered but also acted as a positive, driving force in an interconnected future. I understand the Emperor had built this heavily on the ideas of his old friend, the late King Raizen.

The Emperor's ability to delegate soon became apparent. His Imperial Majesty is hands-on without getting bogged down by details, possessing a keen eye for picking the best individual for his needs. As a result, the newly unified Makai is moving quickly, paving the way for our mandate and building the infrastructure necessary for the Emperor's vision.

A growing system needs workers, and thousands of career-building opportunities opened up. But the Demon World can hardly be expected to change overnight, so there remains a great need for warriors in the new administration. These civil servants must be powerful enough to intimidate and take down hostile forces - and mere mercenaries are insufficient. A modern world calls for a multidisciplinary skillset.

Which brings us to the two most prominent new positions of the unified government: the Left Hand of the Emperor and the Right Hand of the Emperor, both bearing His Imperial Majesty's sigil and acting in his name in dealings across across all three worlds.

When these positions became open for application, there was a great deal of interest and speculation. The public stages of the Emperor's Hand Trials were almost as heavily attended as the original Tournament. But in truth, the field of viable candidates was limited. The requirements for Emperor's Hand were in some respects even more difficult than the prerequisites for becoming Emperor.

Many applicants blasted - literally - through the physical assessments (translation: hand-to-hand combat), but proved themselves wholly incapable of handling detailed documents or delicate conversation (translation: not hand-to-hand combat. To the Emperor's chagrin and the public's delight, a few candidates chose to interpret the diplomatic scenarios as continuations of the physical evaluations. In his infinite wisdom, the Emperor opened day three of the Trials with an announcement of his plan for continuing education and training programs to address the issue long-term.)

In any case, when the results were announced, few were surprised. But the Makai media was still all over it, and debates raged in the papers and streets over how well the partnership would work. If they'd known our shared past from before the rise of Raizen and Mukuro's kingdoms, before the rise of even the Reikai's barrier itself, there might have been less speculation.

Granted, things change, especially after a thousand years, and the Heian period is even more ancient history than the Three Territories. While I can't say for sure if my present-day partner remembers, following the conversation on the train from our first Human World business trip, I strongly suspect it. It's been too busy to entertain any follow up, so time would still tell.

The warrior monk Hokushin, former general of Raizen and Left Hand of the Emperor, gestures again towards the cup. "Try it," he repeats.

I, the sorcerer Kirin, former general of Mukuro and Right Hand of the Emperor, try it. I don't bother removing my mask, a convenient surgical face mask that's long since replaced my old battle covering. It blends in amongst the humans from both health and fashion perspectives, and is certainly far more breathable than my old mask. My arcane arts easily render the covering immaterial, and deflect any attention to such trivial discrepancies.

Though sometimes I wonder if it's necessary. This is Tokyo, after all. There are plenty of other visual distractions.

By the time I set the coffee back down on the table, it's half empty. I tilt the cup slightly towards him to acknowledge his recommendation. "OK, fine. I like it."

"Good," says Hokushin, tapping on his phone and entering the cost into his expense app. "That saves the government 480 yen, and more importantly, me from a second trip in line and a grouchy coworker."

"I'm not grouchy."

"You can be when you haven't had your coffee."

"I never even _had_ coffee before we started these ungodly early-AM boardroom meetings."

"Yes. And then you started to get grouchy."

"Are you saying I have a caffeine problem?"

"I'm only describing my observations. You do seem to consume a great deal of it."

I gesture at his side of the table. "Says the man with the 20 oz cup."

He smiles beatifically at me. "This is herbal tea."

I'm about to reply with a perfect retort of utmost wit, when I sense it.

It's a faint but distinctly demonenergy - one, possibly two presences, drifting by outside. There's a level of interference, giving the effect of something thickly cloaked and obscured in layers. A rather heavy-handed attempt at passing for human - or at the very least, for something much less powerful than it actually is.

The guise might have worked on lesser or more obtuse individuals, be they human, demon, or of Spirit World origins. But not for the Emperor's Hands.

Hokushin's body language doesn't change, but his gaze slides ever so slightly in its direction.

 _Matches the flagged energy signature on the Interworld Most Wanted List_ , he thinks at me, referring to the Makai-Reikai collaboration that formally launched only a few months ago. _The one who escaped the last bust. Picked up an acquaintance, I suppose._

 _Shouldn't you text me that?_ I reply.

His gaze comes back to me, and he raises an eyebrow. _Who texts someone when you're sitting directly across from them?_

I look around us at the clusters of people engrossed in their phones. _Who, indeed. I'm afraid you're falling behind the times._

He takes another sip from his cup, then leans forward slightly. "In any case," he says, "one of us had better say something or this is going to look ridiculous." He pushes his chair back and stands in a smooth motion. _No other Demon World representatives are in the area,_ he continues mentally. _We may as well take it._

He turns and heads briskly for the door, tea in hand. I rise as well, straightening my long coat.

I pick up my phone from the table, text _im on it_ and hit send. After a split-second's consideration, I add _lol_ and an animation of a winking yellow blob blowing a kiss before sliding my phone back in my pocket and catching up. Almost simultaneously, three bright chirps come from my partner's hip.

As we stride side-by-side, Hokushin pulls out his phone, glances at the screen, then shoots me an unimpressed expression of mild irritation.

I laugh. As troublesome as the frequent technology changes are, the Emperor recently upgraded all staff to unlimited data, and it's _wonderful._ Also, I'm already relishing the thought of something more exciting than a stack of forms or more bureaucratic appointments.

 _Don't get cocky_ , thinks Hokushin, picking up on my anticipation. _We have a meeting coming up. Arrest them, get to a designated dropoff, be on our way._

 _Fret not, Mister Killjoy,_ I reply, only slightly offended at the insinuation I'm some feckless delinquent tossing responsibility and caution to the wind. Were I so easily disposed to blind action and immediate gratification, I'd never have survived centuries under Mukuro. I certainly never risked wrath of the kind the Jagan Master incurred in that explosive encounter just before I'd applied to work in the new administration. Then again, they're two dragons of a scale. It's probably why he's still working for her, and I'm not.

I adjust my tie. _I notice_ I _wasn't the first out of his seat and through the cafe doors, itching to get to the scene before any patrol entered range._

Hokushin ignores me. I find his straightlaced act rather disingenuous, but also kind of... cute. It's impossible to be a warrior as good as the Left Hand without finding thrill in a fight. Not to mention difficult to believe, considering he'd served, of all possible masters, a battle god.

We catch up with the two targets quickly, obscuring our presence in the throng of other growing energies throughout the city (as the population of Demon World migrants continues to rise). We follow them down busy streets and up parallel alleys. Soon we arrive at a vacant lot in a rare flatter stretch of the prefecture, blocked off by poorly secured hoarding.

The closer we get, the more obvious it is - the overriding energy pattern matches the sample from the list without question.

"After you," I say, gesturing politely. As the more senior representative, the Left Hand is required to engage first. _Please hurry and make them do something so we can start fighting._

Hokushin throws me a look before he steps out from behind the columns, striding purposefully towards our targets.

"Excuse me, gentlemen," he calls in a professional manner, left hand raised palm out, the Emperor's sigil shimmering into visibility. "I won't waste your time. I'm here to-"

A machine-gun array of energy sprays across the space where the Left Hand had just been, leaving only a coffee - pardon me, tea - cup to take the damage. The contents splatter, soaking the concrete.

"Oh no," I say blandly, hiding my delight while Hokushin dodges blasts across the lot.

As long as a target isn't violent, Imperial representatives are prohibited from engaging in direct offensive action in the Human World. Fortunately, these "gentlemen" don't appear up to speed on the handbook, and even more happily, the immediate escalation to superhuman violence makes it acceptable for us to do so as well. However, there are still restrictions - the higher energy class a representative is, the more restrained they must be with their power. The Emperor's Hands naturally have to exercise the greatest restraint, being extensions of His Imperial Majesty and thus required to take the utmost care in representing the Demon World to the other Worlds.

What all this basically means is that I'm stuck behind a pillar, muting my aura and keeping out of sight, waiting for Hokushin to do something I can document as requiring assistance before I can join the fray.

But all in good time. I take the opportunity to observe the warrior monk in action. This would be useful for future Tournaments if our numbers land in the same block.

"By decree of the Emperor of the Makai," Hokushin is saying rapidly - but clearly - as he continues evading, "I, Hokushin, Left Hand of the Emperor acting under His Imperial Majesty's direct command, am here to arrest you for contempt of His Imperial Majesty, breach of the interworld peace, threatening development of the Open Worlds Policy, conduct unbecoming of a citizen of the Demon World under the present administration, conspiracy, incitement, and obstruction of justice. It is my duty to inform you that you have the right to remain silent and to retain and instruct counsel without delay. If you do not have a lawyer, I can provide you with contact information to obtain free legal advice in private. Anything you do say can and will be entered into any world's court of law as evidence. Do you understand? Do you wish to contact a lawyer?"

I'm impressed he's able to get through all that with a straight face. His footwork is also excellent.

 _Incoming six o'clock,_ I think at him, then immediately smack myself on the forehead. That would've been a perfect opening for an assist. Well, my own fault for getting distracted by fancy footwork.

 _Thank you._ Hokushin acrobatically dodges the attack, and lands across from me. "I'll take that as a no," he says out loud in response to his earlier question. He glances in my direction. _Any point repeating myself?_

 _I wouldn't bother_ , I reply. _You recited it very clearly._ I resist the urge to stick an arm out and yell 'Yoo-hoo, attack target over here!' After I did so in a previous encounter, Hokushin docked me ten points in our bimonthly partner performance review (PPR). At least my psychic warning earned some brownie points back. _Some people struggle with updating their mentality and behaviour._

 _True._ Hokushin ducks to the side, avoiding a blast. _I must admit it's rather dismaying no one we've dealt with to date has opted for free legal advice._

 _Honestly,_ I reply, _you should ask some of the staff who've been chasing smaller fish. If you're big - and stupid - enough to attack a former general of one of the Three Kings on sight, would you opt for a lawyer?_ My fingers begin to drum the surface of the pillar impatiently.

Hokushin considers while dodging another series of attacks. _Good point. Reform is challenging past a certain stage._

I grind my teeth. I swear he's drawing this out on purpose. I've half a mind to file a complaint for our next PPR, except he'd probably submit perfectly defensible documentation as to why his dawdling was all warranted. Damn him and his impeccable paperwork.

 _I notice you're not getting any closer,_ I think at him. _Do you need assistance?_

 _It's under control,_ he answers.

I try again. _I would be most honoured to support you in my capacity as Right Hand. I greatly appreciate and value our collaborative partnership._

 _That's lovely to hear,_ he replies, turning to re-engage with the enemy.

 _The clock is ticking for our next meeting_ , I think desperately.

Hokushin pauses in mid-motion, then turns his head to look at me.

I straighten and will myself to convey nothing but vibes of professionalism, dependability and extreme helpfulness, radiating _absolute best behaviour, responsible and reliable coworker_ with every fibre of my being. I stop short of using any actual mind control spells to make him believe it. That would most definitely result in ten times ten demerit points on the next PPR.

He looks to the side, then back at me. I watch a wave of microexpressions pass over his face, faster than ordinary humans or demons can process: complete skepticism, followed by a mix of sort-of amusement and kind-of pity.

I'm not keen on being pitied, but admittedly things are getting pathetic. After all the work that's been piled on us lately, I could care less if it means I can get sixty goddamned seconds of lame action-

 _All right,_ he acquiesces with a nod.

I can't believe it. _Thank you. Could you please relay that in a form I can more clearly document for my report?_

"Yes, Kirin," Hokushin says out loud. "You can come help me. I am not texting that."

"Good enough for me," I say, and emerge from behind the pillar.

I rapidly expand my aura, making myself impossible to miss. Another battery of energy blazes across the lot towards us, the strongest set yet. I mouth an incantation, simultaneously raising my hand before me, palm and glowing sigil out. The air just before the Emperor's mark flashes, and my spell returns fire in the exact same pattern, cancelling out the attack.

Now that I've engaged a clearly unprovoked* assault with a defensive maneuver, I'm free to actively participate. Well, more free to more actively participate. (*Hokushin might disagree because I expanded my aura, but it doesn't matter since he already said I could assist.)

"By decree of the Emperor of the Makai," I say, mindful of my promise of _absolute best behaviour, responsible and reliable coworker_ , for at least the next minute in any case, "I, Kirin, Right Hand of the Emperor acting under His Imperial Majesty's direct command, strongly recommend you reconsider everything the Left Hand said previously. Or I'll eviscerate you and incinerate your physical state into oblivion."

In response, I receive another chain of fire, which I proceed to cancel again. This time the attack doesn't stop, so the effect is of an invisible wall just beyond my reach, shielding the two of us.

In my mind, I hear an exasperated psychic sigh.

"What?" I reply, looking over at my partner. "You already said all the mandatory legal very clearly. The warning statement I issued was both factually accurate and unequivocal in interpretation."

"That is not the point," Hokushin replies patiently, staring straight ahead at the continuous fire coming towards us.

"Fine. I'll work on my warning statement," I say. "But to foster a healthy work relationship, you should respect my effort. In my previous life, I wouldn't have bothered."

"That is true," he replies, sounding unconvinced.

The assault doesn't break. "Are you open to surrendering peacefully to your arrest to minimize your potential sentence?" I inquire loudly, my voice carrying over the enemy fire. "It would be helpful if you actually said no, but this works for confirmation as well. You do know you're just drawing this out before I shred your very existence into mere atoms, right?"

" _Kirin,"_ snaps Hokushin. I stop myself from snickering; he really does sound like a displeased nanny lecturing a child. "Sometimes I don't understand how you passed the negotiation evaluations."

"I passed them," I reply, "because I was actually trying to negotiate."

He tilts his face slightly towards me, and gives me a look.

If I had a 5 yen coin for every look I've received over the course of our partnership to date, I'd sink like an iron block the second I touched water. That said, I find it most impressive how well Hokushin can maintain a neutral expression, along with the fine degrees of unimpressed-ness he can convey across his face.

It must be his low eyebrows, I decide. That and the gift of experience that can only come from serving Raizen and then Yusuke.

"Look," I say reasonably. "We followed all protocol. I really don't think these fellows are open to conversation anyways. We can't be so inflexible as to become ineffective. Didn't you say we should get in, get out?"

Hokushin turns back to face the direction of fire. His furrowed brow tells me he's reassessing. Then he sighs. "You're right. We have a meeting."

The meeting is about the last thing in the universe I care about, but I say in a very wise and sympathetic tone, _"Exactly."_

The barrage suddenly lightens. I wiggle my fingers testily - it's just the remnant of leftover energy, dying away like embers. I lower my arm to see the fleeing backs of our targets.

"Oh look." I point at the two figures shrinking into the distance. "While you were lecturing me, they ran away."

Hokushin's gaze remains fixed ahead. "If that's their top speed," he replies, unruffled, "they won't get very far."

We both stand there without moving, simply watching our quarry disappear into the thick of the city.

There's no point giving chase from a deserted area back into dense urban territory. It's a common rookie mistake. Visibility falls, confusion escalates. Plus, disrupting public spaces full of humans is a major red flag, so by default we'd be at a significant disadvantage when maneuvering. (A few times when we were unexpectedly caught in a situation like this, I had to either illusion-shield our immediate environment or freeze surrounding local consciousnesses. That kind of large-scale space-disruption spellcasting is a massive drain on resources, not to mention reflective of embarrassingly poor planning and decision-making.)

Since we've already got a solid fix on the energy pattern from earlier interactions, it's better to let the enemy orient themselves and decide what they want to do, where they want to hide. Then we can easily use our powers to spy them out and track them down. It conserves energy, and nets us out with a much better performance report.

After a few seconds, I figure it's been enough time for the targets to have decided on a plan of action more specific than getting the hell out of our presence.

"Want me to scry their position?" I ask. I don't actually need the Left Hand's permission, but clairvoyant type-activities blank out all other sensory abilities, so it's best to have another person keep watch. To be honest, I hate doing it.

Hokushin doesn't reply,

I look over at him. "Oh," I say.

No wonder he didn't say anything. His head isn't there.

His rokurokubi neck is stretched sky-high in a near-vertical position. At a distance, the rigid line is easily interpreted as a manmade structure, like a kite or an antenna, and combined with his excellent eyesight makes a perfect formation for scouting from above. When time and place are right, obviously, since explaining it to a crowd of ignorant human bystanders would be impossible without an illusion-shield.

However, while a straight-neck formation is faster than me setting up a spell, it's also a literal pain in the neck to hold. I imagine he enjoys it about as much as I love scrying. I appreciate his making the move and saving me the trouble.

I fold my arms and wait a bit. Soon enough, he rapidly reels his head back in.

"I suspected they might take a vertical approach," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. "About fifteen blocks to the north, heading up a large retail or office tower."

"Can I portal us over?" I ask. Travel through interdimensional space would save us time, and it's a relatively short distance, so the risk of instability and structural collapse isn't a big problem. Between us, only I presently had the expertise to form a portal, but once activated either of us could supply ample energy to support it for the period of time/distance needed.

"Yes. There are designated drops in the restrooms."

I frown. "Why is it always in the restrooms?"

He stops massaging his neck and looks at me. "It's not always in the restrooms."

"93.75% of the time it is. I calculated it."

He half-smiles at the idea that I took the time to crunch the numbers. "The gateway teams do their best. It's difficult to find better sites that are private and unmonitored in a city like this."

"Broom closet. Fitting room. Storage locker."

"Those are _not_ better."

I pause, and consider the potential negatives. Broom closet contents are unpredictable. Fitting room areas, especially in bigger stores, are usually staffed so exiting without notice could be problematic. Storage lockers in Tokyo - "OK, they're not."

Hokushin pats me on the arm. "I'm sure it will improve as the Open World Policy develops," he says.

So, as per 93.75% of the time, we land in the restroom. At least this time it's a larger accessible stall that could reasonably accommodate two persons and a chair, as opposed to-

Hokushin looks down at his feet. "That's unexpected."

I look down as well. One of our two targets is lying on the floor of the stall, eye whites in full view, foaming at the mouth.

I make an inconspicuous arcane gesture, freezing the door to the facilities in its frame so we won't have any interruptions. I hover my hand in the air high over the body in a quick assessment. No vital signs, not even a hint of a consciousness.

"Deader than a doornail," I say. "Cutting their losses, I assume. Villains never seem to be very collaborative."

Hokushin kneels down to inspect the corpse. "Lock the d-"

"I already locked the door to the restrooms."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

He turns the corpse over, feels along the key energy points, then looks up at me with an expression of surprise.

"What is it?"

"This seems more like a discarded shell than a dead accomplice." He gets up so that I can move in for a closer look. "Looks like our target has a 'Showerhead' attachment too."

Intrigued, I repeat his inspection. With my sorcery, I quickly confirm his guess. It really is a husk, as opposed to a brainwashed human, which would've had residual impressions of its original soul. "You're right. It's a semi-organic mannequin. The human skin is quite artfully done. We can review with Shigure when we're back in the Makai."

One wrist bears red welts, a series of deep bands. It had clearly been wearing a bracer of some sort for a period of time. The pattern, as Hokushin noted, suggests a "Showerhead" accessory, so-called because the device - banned from use in the Human World - boosts the user's energy, funnelling it into various spray attacks. The result can range from a single focused stream to a machine-gun style output similar to what we had been dealing with earlier.

"I wonder…" Hokushin looks thoughtful.

"If it's fodder?"

He nods. "Perhaps there weren't actually two targets. Our rogue demon dropped the sidecar on their vehicle to avoid spreading their resources too thin."

"You're probably right," I say. In this case, we'd be dealing with a mentalist, a demon driving two shells, now one. If it's threatened enough, it might discard the second shell too, and then we would move the engagement into interdimensional space. Which could be a good or a bad thing. At least we wouldn't be concerned about disrupting the Human World directly.

We package the shell and bundle it off into the drop for secure pickup by an appropriate Makai patrol. Then we exit the restrooms, and make our way up to the roof of the building.

"By the way," Hokushin says as we dash up the stairs. (Another rookie mistake: taking the elevators when you're hunting or being hunted. Human World elevators are built for safety and comfort, not speed, and your environmental control drops. And if you're a demon who can't race up 29 flights of stairs in under four minutes, I don't know how to break it to you, but you've got problems.) "Your attack pattern mirroring earlier was excellent. I'd love to learn more about the predictive techniques you employ."

"Not right now," I reply, "because we don't have time to compress 200 years of study into ten seconds. And not later, because what if we're paired up in a future Tournament?"

He laughs. "Touché. All right then, just cover me." He pauses briefly at the door to the roof, leaning against the handle, gauging the energy activity and position on the other side. Then he crouches, slams the door open and darts out.

Sure enough, the target is near the edge of the roof, fiddling with the Showerhead. The rogue demon turns with a start at the sound of the door, and immediately begins firing a wide spray of energy in our general direction.

The Showerhead isn't properly donned and synced up, so this attack is much more erratic and spread out. Hokushin makes straight for the target, and I reach a hand out, rapidly cancelling out spot attacks before they hit. The clashing energy sparks out brilliantly, creating bursts of miniature fireworks in the air around us.

Hokushin's arm extends, ribbon-like. It whips towards our target and catches the Showerhead from the side, ripping it out of the rogue demon's grasp. His head and neck follow immediately in flying loops, quickly drawing tight round the target. The enemy doesn't even have a chance to exclaim before being fully wrapped and constricted. It all happens faster than the blink of an eye, before the Showerhead hits the ground.

Hokushin's body remains crouched down paces away from the tied-up target. I leisurely stroll past him and pick up the bracer.

I examine it carefully, generating a map of any identifiable impressions or markings for tracing later before disabling the device for confiscation and dropoff. It turns out to be a rather outdated model, so it takes me longer than expected.

"How are you doing over there?" I call as I work. "Did you squeeze it unconscious yet?"

"Five more seconds, please," Hokushin replies.

I understand. It's harder to render something unconscious than to crush it to death outright, especially if it's not cooperative.

As we each continue with our task, a cheerful jingling tune fills the air. The sound is coming from the direction of Hokushin's body, and I recognize the chime as his calendar reminder.

"Your phone," I advise without glancing up. It's definitely an alert for our upcoming appointment, and I'm in no rush.

"Oh no," I hear him say, sounding dismayed. "Our meeting." I can picture the expression of concern flitting across his usually stoic face, and I smile in private amusement. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch the unstretched arm on his body patting his pants pocket, then the entire body getting to his feet as he pulls out his phone.

I finish my mapping and start to shut and lock the Showerhead's sensors one by one. I wonder idly whether Hokushin will stretch his head over to his body to check the notification and deal with the meeting situation, or if he'll stretch his arm over to his head instead.

The answer turns out to be the latter. Of course, I think to myself. This way he doesn't take his eyes off the target. Makes sense.

The local energy level suddenly spikes.

I instantly realize the enemy's making a last-ditch effort to vacate the premises. "Hokushin," I yell, spinning around. "Pull away from the-"

He's already moving, serpentine neck unwinding at lightning speed, dropping the shell like a hot potato. There's no attack pattern to mirror, so I hastily use my free hand to craft a shield, both to minimize potential damage for my partner, and cover anything visible or audible to humans.

He twists out of the way with a seasoned warrior's instinct, pulling all of his limbs back to his body just in time for me to raise and position my spell.

Just as the shell detonates.

And just as his instinct also causes him to let go of his phone.

We watch the device sail gracefully through the air, bounce off the concrete edge of the roof and flip before beginning its descent down the side of the tower.

"-ah, for- _bother_ ," he curses.

I laugh at his reaction. "Your profanity needs work."

He ignores me and reaches out, arm stretching across the gulf with his superhuman reach, grabbing his phone and snapping back in a matter of nanoseconds. He jabs at the dark screen blindly, then puts it up to his ear.

"Hello? Hello? -oh, thank goodness. Sasuga. I'm so glad I reached you. Yes, this is Hokushin. Very well, thank you. And you? That's good to hear. Rinku? What? Oh, _did_ he? That's _wonderful._ Congratulations. I'm so happy for you. No, no, that's all right. Not at all. I'm sorry I missed it. You'll need to tell me more when I'm back in the office. I apologize, I seem to be having all manner of technical difficulties today. Could you kindly help me reschedule my next appointment? And send my deepest apologies to the other party? Kirin and I are running a little late."

While he talks, I inspect the remains under my shield. Nothing but smoke and ash. The detonation turned nearly all of the shell's matter into energy.

"I'm terribly sorry for requesting this on such ridiculously short notice," I can hear Hokushin saying. "-oh no, I'm afraid we need more time than that. ... Yes. Excellent. Perfect. I knew I could count on you. Thank you. Pardon? What? What do you mean? I'm sorry, you're breaking up. Hello? Hello?" He pauses, then takes the device away from his ear.

"That could've been quite the nasty burn," I say, pointing at the remains.

He tucks the phone away, and nods at me. "I realize that. Thank you."

I sweep the dust into a tiny package for dropoff. "What happened?" I ask. "Did your phone die?"

"Essentially."

"You could've shaved ten seconds off that exchange if you dropped the polite chit chat."

"I'm not going to cut her off when she's telling me about her proposal. That would've been beyond rude. In any case, the important message got across."

I raise an eyebrow. "The fact that we're chasing a fugitive on the Interworld Most Wanted wasn't important?"

He looks directly at me. "They'll figure it out soon enough," he says. His expression is perfectly neutral.

Then the mental thought comes. _Did you want reinforcements?_

The Tournament was too long ago. This is a nice break from the recent monotony. _No._

He turns away, but not before I catch the smile on his face. _I didn't think so._ Without pausing, he makes a run for the edge of the tower, leaping across to the roof of the next, following the energy tracks of the rogue demon in flight.

I grin behind my mask and follow suit, catching up with him quickly.

 _Is your phone actually broken?_ I think at him as we race across the Tokyo skyline.

 _Yes._

I'm skeptical. _Are you sure?_

 _Yes._

 _You're pulling my leg._

 _No._

 _Yusuke's influence is rubbing off on you._

 _Highly unlikely._

My _influence is rubbing off on you._

All I get in response is a mental scoff. I shrug, entertained. As I said earlier, I doubt anyone can work for someone like Raizen for centuries and then for someone like his descendant without getting a trifle affected. In any case, it doesn't matter; it's actually for the better that the enemy doesn't think anyone else is aware of our chase, and frankly neither of us are in doubt about eventually bringing in the straggler.

After a short (for us) distance, Hokushin stops, surveys the area, and nods at me for confirmation. I nod in return. The aura is fading, so we need to follow the target into the interdimensional plane. I begin to set up the portal, a more complex structure than the earlier one, as we'll need it to be stable for much longer.

I'm nearing completion when a shrill whistle pierces the air. I look at Hokushin, and our eyes meet in mutual confusion.

The whistle dissolves into an auditory sparkle, and then bursts into a catchy pop tune. Opening whistle aside, it's the latest single from 3ccult. Which we both know very well, thanks to the Emperor being a huge fan and constantly playing their songs day in and day out.

The music is also coming from my pocket.

Hokushin raises an eyebrow, but says nothing.

"I thought I had it on vibrate!" I growl, and hastily pick up before Koto, Juri and Ruka's voices can kick in.

I glance at the number. It's someone at the office. We'd received a memo the other day that the phone system is in the midst of being reconfigured, so I'm not surprised the call display details are generic. "Hello?" I answer gruffly.

"Mrowr? Mrooooarrr."

I hold the device away from my face and say to Hokushin, "It's just accounts payable." I turn back. "Look, Nekotama, I can't drop everything to find the receipt for that expense right now. We're chasing down a- chasing down a place to print last minute updates of the presentation and agenda for our meeting."

I glance at my partner, hoping this little lie doesn't result in any demerits on the next PPR. He looks calm, appearing perfectly amenable to whatever I'm saying. Good. He's as hung up on resolving this as I am.

"Meeewoooorrr," says the voice on the other end of the line. "Meowww mrooowr meow."

"You're absolutely right. There are 7-11s, Family Marts, Lawsons with printing services everywhere. No wonder I'm standing in one right now flagging down an employee to help me. It's the middle of the work week, everyone wants to print."

"Mwowrr? Meew mew mrowrr maooww."

"Sure. You come to the Human World and see for yourself one of these days."

" _Hissssss_ mrowwwr maaaaaiooowww!"

"No, I'm not making fun of you. We can work on some nice shape-shifting illusions. You're already halfway there with your size-changing skills. Yes, I promise I'll find that one individual receipt and get it to you as soon as I'm back at the office. I swear it on my Emperor's sigil. I'll swear it on Hokushin's Emperor's sigil too if it makes you feel better. And the flaming pits of hell and all that."

"Mrowrrr. Mrowr meoow mew? Maiouww! Meow."

"OK, deal. Got it. I'll pass the word on if I see him." I just want to get this danged cat off the phone.

"Mrowr mrew. Maiiooww."

"No problem. Same to you." I hang up. Then I explode. "Of all the times to call about a _260 yen_ expense form discrepancy!"

"Nekotama was a good hire for A/P," remarks Hokushin. "He's one of the few paper-pushers not afraid to chase S-class demons for missing receipts. Also," he adds with a barely-hidden smile not quite on its way to becoming a barely-hidden smirk, "I applaud you for supporting our cultural exports."

I glower. "That was not my ringtone. It must have been a forced system update."

"Normally I wouldn't believe you, but it does sound like something His Imperial Majesty would do," Hokushin says, almost too kindly. "I suppose I should check mine later."

I grunt in response, annoyed, and focus on completing the structure.

When I finish, Hokushin extends his arm to me without a word, offering his energy to feed the portal. His gesture seems almost an apology for the little joke at my expense.

Well, if he supplies the power, it certainly keeps me free to do more things in interdimensional space. I take his wrist and slightly roll back his sleeve to hook him into the structure. After mentally plucking the connection to check the security, I give him the thumbs up.

I open the portal, and we enter.

No matter how many times I do this, entering interdimensional space is always an unsettling experience. You're removed from existence in any of the Worlds. Time and space as you normally know it don't exist. It is a plane of both possibilities and unreality.

Our target is hiding somewhere in here, and without the protection of a shell, it's unlikely to try dropping out into a normal space while it knows we're hunting it down. We wander around for a bit, getting our bearings and feeling out the area, seeking any signs of the rogue demon.

After a while, I notice Hokushin's lagging behind. I turn to check on him.

He's staring off to the side - not that interdimensional space has a side. His expression still appears neutral, but his eyes look somewhat unfocused, as if he's not really absorbing his surroundings.

His body language doesn't read as tired to me, and in any case, it can't be the drain of supporting the portal structure. As his centuries-old counterpart on the other side of the war, I have a good idea of his resting power level. I know it's more than enough to carry the portal beyond the time we'd likely need.

Something's clearly occupying his mental attention.

"Hey," I say. "Everything OK?"

Hokushin blinks, then shakes his head, as if shaking something off. "Everything's fine."

My sigil flickers. _Target in close range._

Now it makes perfect sense. One, Hokushin's directly connected to the structure, so he's more sensitive to the presences - the disturbances - inside it. Two, as a sorcerer, I maintain constant, multiple mental shields. If the rogue demon decided to craft psychological illusions - now its primary source of attack and defense - it's no surprise it would hone in on Hokushin's memories for material. He must be seeing things I'm not - because, of course, nothing's actually there.

Then I turn and see the mirror, sitting on a carved pedestal. I suppose I'll need to reevaluate my statement about nothing being there.

I frown and take a closer look. No, I'm still right. It's an illusion, but the enemy is working hard to pull its audience in, so this one has quite a bit of solidity to it.

I assess the attempt. The illusion is a fairly passable rendering of Yata no Kagami, the wish-granting Mirror of Darkness. It must be drawing from a very old memory, and seems a bit fuzzy on some of the details it's managed to extract from my partner. I'd rate the overall quality maybe six out of ten. Seven, if I'm feeling generous. Better than average.

"Hokushin," I say, keeping my voice low. "That mirror-"

"Shhh," he replies, just as quietly.

A gentle light sheens softly across the surface of the artifact.

 _You remember,_ it says.

The words are like a ripple across a pool of still water, tingling down my spine. I'm impressed, and upgrade my score to eight point five out of ten. It's little details like that that really make or break an illusion and win people over.

"I do," Hokushin replies. His voice is still hushed.

I look over, wondering if he's being won over. He's staring very intently at the mirror. Uh oh.

 _Gaze upon me,_ says the false mirror, _and I can reveal your greatest desire_. _See it, and I can grant it._

"Um," I say, then think better of it. I flicker the sigil instead. _Note your surroundings._

The flicker returns. _Situation under control._

Fine then. I fold my arms.

"Show me," Hokushin replies. There's a glow in his eyes that wasn't present before. Classic (but not definite) sign of stage 3 illusionary thrall.

I consider my options. I could easily destroy the illusion, but if the target is active in Hokushin's mindspace, it's guaranteed this is only the latest in a series of hallucinations he's been processing since we stepped into this plane. It's possibly even a climax illusion set to capture and lock the prey's mental state, and is deeply entangled in the subject's consciousness. Plus my portal structure is relying on him as a power supply. Being an external force, my disruptions could create a lot of unintended collateral damage.

I debate internally. Perhaps Hokushin really is fine, and is just playing it up for the enemy. Or maybe he's not. To break things or to not break things? That is the question. Worse comes to worst, if he does manage to get brainwashed, a showdown with Raizen's general would definitely put an end to the administrative tedium of late.

That decides it. I go with watching it play out, and start looking forward to any impending disaster.

The surface of the mirror dims, and the reflection across its surface swirls like blossoms in the wind. The forms swell, settling into a sharpening image. An image of three people I recognize from another life, when I was living in the lap of luxury, disguised as a human at the imperial court: a man, a woman, a younger man who is their son, their fine robes clearly of the classical period-

And the image is smashed into a thousand pieces.

As the shattered illusion glitters and shimmers away, Hokushin withdraws his fist, opening and shaking his hand roughly as if to discard any lingering remnants from what he'd touched.

"What a poorly-researched illusion," he says, sounding more peeved than I've ever heard him. "The Mirror doesn't sound like that at it's not made of glass. That's only the modern-era covering. I wouldn't even give this a passing mark."

"You had me worried for a second there," I remark. I discover I feel relieved. And mildly disappointed there's no showdown (for the time being anyways). And also a little irked that he rated the illusion lower than I did.

He looks over at me, bemused. "I'm touched by your concern," he says. "But you of all people should know I'm quite familiar with Yata no Kagami's appearance and behaviour. I only carried it with me every day for at least a month after you handed it over."

He _did_ remember our crossed path. "I thought perhaps you blocked it out of your mind," I say.

"No," he replies. "We actually shared a long conversation. Which I'm most grateful for, considering I was trying to destroy it at the time-" He pauses, noticing - even with my mask on - the surprise that flashes across my face. "What is it?"

I don't bother hiding it. "You had an extended conversation with Yata no Kagami?!"

"Yes. It was rather chatty once it got started." He studies my face and returns my expression of surprise. "You never did? In all that time you were guarding the Mirror for the human Emperor in Heian-kyo?"

"No. Whenever I tried, it fell asleep on me." I'm extremely offended. I assumed for centuries it did that with everyone who wasn't trying to get a wish granted. Clearly _not_. "I'll have a word with it next time we see each other."

He chuckles. "Perhaps it simply wanted me to stop flogging it."

"Or it likes you."

"I'm sure it just felt sorry for me. In any case, it's under the jurisdiction of the Reikai now, so good luck with that."

I stroke my chin thoughtfully. "Technically I could stake a claim to repossess it on behalf of my _former_ former employer, since they only acquired it _after_ you stole it from-"

"Mm, no, sorry, I didn't steal anything. You were the guardian entrusted with the Mirror, who purposefully abandoned it to a hobo rokurokubi, who donated it to the first not-run-down temple he saw. I'm hardly a fan of Enma, but in this case he picked it up as his property fair and square. I'd have to testify on that front."

I make a face behind my mask. "Fine."

"Don't make a face at me. You asked me to help you get rid of it."

"Hmph," I reply, and see a small smile begin to pass over Hokushin's face as he walks back towards me.

Without warning, he stumbles.

And everything falls apart.

 _Shit_. Things really need to stop happening to my surprise. The rogue demon must have severed the power connection, and the portal structure is disintegrating at an alarming rate. The turbulence is worse than a Human World jetliner navigating a bad thunderstorm, and there's no way I can attempt a new framework, much less hook either of us up into it. The best I can do is hasten our direction towards a friendly drop-off point.

It's impossible to hear or sense any attempt at communication in this state. I reach over and grab Hokushin by the lapels so I don't lose track of him, then shove the crumbling portal as hard as I can towards an opening marked by the gateway team. I don't even check what it is, forget all my complaints about tiny restroom stall landings.

We fall, seemingly forever, with no sense of time or place.

A sudden harsh jarring knocks the wind out of even me, and the darkness around us vanishes as if it had been wiped away by a cloth. We tumble out of the sky.

And land on the ground in a pile.

Concrete to my face.

I groan and lift my head slightly. A startled pigeon meets my gaze and flaps its wings, taking off. I shut my eyes tight just as the cloud of dust hits my face, and I'm left grateful for my mask.

There's a cough beneath me. I open my eyes again, blink several times, and look down.

Apparently I landed with my head in the crook between Hokushin's neck and shoulder, so I'm now staring him straight in the face. His eyes are squeezed shut, I presume from the dust cloud just a second ago.

I lift one arm and lightly brush some of the dirt off his cheek, noting that it feels very soft. Nature of rokurokubi, I figure, pliable skin and all.

"You know," I remark, "you look exactly like you did back in the Heian period. Only without hair."

His eyes snap open and he fixes me with a glare. "And you," he replies through gritted teeth, "weigh at least a good 300 pounds."

"Of pure muscle and firepower," I agree cheerfully.

"Yo," says a third voice. "Rough day at work?"

We both turn our heads in the direction of the greeting.

We've landed mere steps away from the front of a very familiar food stall.

Urameshi Yusuke, scion of Raizen and once-king of the largest territory of the Demon World, looks over at us from behind the counter of his ramen stand, knife in one hand and pork cheek in the other. There's no one else in sight.

Before I can respond, Hokushin pushes me off, rolls to the side, then rises on one knee in a smooth motion.

He gracefully bows with all the refined poise of a well-trained samurai attending his master, left hand pressing against the ground. In the driest tone imaginable, he says, "My Lord, it is with the greatest honour and pleasure that I have come to inform you of the Emperor's willing abdication in favour of your eminent rule. All of the Demon World is now yours to command, and I will serve you faithfully as your loyal retainer forevermore."

The so-called ruler of all the Demon World is unimpressed. "The fuck, man?" he replies. "Can't you see I'm getting ready for the afternoon rush?"

Hokushin gets to his feet and dusts himself off. He turns to me as he neatly buttons his coat back up. "Good. It's the real one."

I raise an eyebrow. " _That's_ your wildest fantasy?" Hokushin finishes his last button and gives me a look of complete unamusement.

"Dude," says Yusuke, "I don't give two shits about your servant kink, but if Enks skipped town, _you're_ the deputy Emperor. I ain't doin' your damn work."

Hokushin closes his eyes, then inhales and exhales slowly in his _no one can ever pay me enough to do whatever the hell this job is_ sigh.

Yusuke continues chopping ingredients. "While Hokushin's getting in his breathing exercises, how ya doin', Kirin?"

"Not bad," I reply. Then I remember. "Oh, Nekotama says hi. And please send more of those whatevers from last time. He likes the orange ones, not the white ones. That's all I got."

Yusuke squints in confusion for a split second, then breaks into a laugh. "Yeah? Sure thing, I'll rustle up more of those orange kitty treats. But tell him I'm still waiting for a selfie! Kuwabara's been skeptical about giant demon cats since Byakko. I keep telling him there are tons of other kinds of youkai. He'd get a kick out of Nekotama." He flips to another board and knife, speeding through his prep. "So what're you guys up to? I notice you're guarding against illusions of some sort?"

Hokushin answers before I can. "We're just picking up the remnant of a rogue team who uses psychological illusions. Fortunately, it's not very sophisticated. It goes for the most obvious thing it can find, and doesn't know how to realistically incorporate a grounded, self-aware target's understanding of reality into its work." I notice he carefully makes no mention of Interworld Most Wanted.

Regardless, Yusuke perks up instantly. "Rogue demon, eh? Sounds to me like you could use some help-"

Hokushin interrupts him. "We're not hiring a freelancer."

"I do pro bono too!" Yusuke replies, indignant.

"I'm afraid I can't accept the offer," Hokushin says. "Pro bono services are a potential conflict of interest for the government." As Yusuke scowls, he continues, "And you're getting ready for the afternoon rush."

"Tough luck, kid," I say helpfully. "If you think we're giving up the one speck of fun we've had in this godforsaken month of meetings, dream on."

Hokushin throws me another look, which I translate as _Do I have to babysit you too?_

Yusuke scowls further. "I'm my own boss! I can shut down all day and chase you if I want!"

The Left Hand of the Emperor turns back, unperturbed, and pulls out his biggest threat. "I'll text Keiko."

Yusuke freezes at the mention of his fiancee's name, but recovers quickly. "You're bluffing."

Hokushin calmly pulls out his - broken? - phone and begins to text slowly, emphatically, with one hand.

"Whoa!" exclaims Yusuke, hands out. "Don't hit send! And since when do you have Keiko's number?"

"Since we ran into each other in Ikebukuro last year and enjoyed a nice cup of tea," Hokushin replies, his thumb hovering mildly over the phone screen. "Which we continue to do on a regular basis. She's a very lovely lady and an excellent influence on you."

Yusuke narrows his eyes, mutters something under his breath about playing dirty, and turns back to his cutting board.

Hokushin presses on the screen a few times as if to back out of the texts, and puts the device away. "But," he adds, "if we happen to encounter any others, I'm sure the stand will be a convenient dropoff."

"Yeah, yeah," says Yusuke without looking up. "Just toss the scraps over here."

"If His ex-Majesty and his magical demon nanny are done, we can go now," I say loudly. I ignore glares from both of them, focusing my attention on pulling another portal. This time I take the extra measure of hooking both Hokushin and me up to the structure, just in case.

As we head back in, I look over at my partner. "Convenient dropoff?" I inquire. "What happened to conflict of interest?"

Hokushin smiles ruefully. He rubs the back of his shoulder where he must have landed when we hit the ground, and shakes his head. "Let's be frank, Kirin. Everyone knows _I'm_ the biggest conflict of interest."

I laugh. It's true; everyone in the administration is well aware the warrior monk's loyalty to his king precedes his loyalty to the Emperor. But since Raizen's scion has zero interest in actually _being_ king, much less supreme ruler of all the demon realm, and fully supports the current arrangement, Hokushin's trustworthiness is unquestionable. No one, least of all the Emperor, has any concerns. Furthermore, the demon Enki considers the late King Raizen his blood-brother, and therefore sees and treats Yusuke like a favourite nephew. The two get along famously.

"In your case," I say, "only if Yusuke hits his head one day and decides he wants to overthrow the government."

He looks up at me. "Out of respect for you as Right Hand of the Emperor and my partner," he says, still smiling, "if it were ever to come to that, I promise to give you advance warning before I hand in my two-week's notice."

"If you ever resigned," I reply, "His Imperial Majesty would probably cry. And not just because the government's being overthrown in 10 business days. You're too damned good at your job."

He chuckles. "That's very kind of you to say so. But it's an easy enough role for you to fill."

Technically he's correct, but to be honest I'm not particularly enthusiastic about the idea, even at a hypothetical level. For one, I'd have to find another partner. But I don't say this, because something else catches my attention.

There's a slight shift in the atmosphere around us - barely noticeable, like a strangeness to the tint of colour in the light.

The rogue demon is present, and likely trying to decide whether or not to assert a form to create another psychic probe, or to flee. The easiest way to catch it would be to encourage it to solidify, to let it think it's caught two inattentive demons. But inside a free portal, around which dimensions are constantly being bent, it's too risky to discuss a plan psychically. It would be too simple for a mind-manipulator to intercept such thoughts.

I'm doubtful Hokushin noticed the environmental change, even being connected to the structure. It's extremely subtle, and he's no sorcerer. I flicker the sigil in two patterns. _Note your surroundings. Follow my lead._

Out loud, I say, "Please. I'm perfectly happy as Right Hand. Left Hand gets more paperwork."

I feel the sigil flicker back. _Message confirmed._

"Oh? But as far as _I can see,_ " he says, with an emphasis on the last few words that doesn't seem out of place in the conversation at all, "you're awfullygood at it." He sounds very sincere.

I shrug. "Doesn't mean I love it. When I win the next Tournament and become Emperor, that will be my top priority. A ban on paperwork." I pause thoughtfully, reconsidering. "My second priority. My first will be to remake the Makai in my image. Then ban paperwork."

"What, and destroy a perfectly good existing administrative system for remaking the Makai in your own image?" Hokushin replies.

"That's why remaking comes first. _Then_ banning."

"But how will you maintain your glorious dictatorship?" my partner presses. "Descending into chaos isn't particularly sustainable. And creating a new system from scratch is terribly inefficient."

"Fine," I reply carelessly. "I'll ban myself from paperwork."

"Ah, I see." Hokushin nods sagely. "Now your loyal servants can conveniently plot your demise right under your nose."

"Will you quit poking holes," I say in an annoyed tone. "Obviously I haven't had time to work out _all_ the details." He laughs.

"Go ahead, sneer all you want now," I say imperiously. "I know who's going to be working out all those details for me. I'll appoint you my personal slave. Of paperwork and policy planning from hell."

"How does one appoint a slave?"

"Imperial admin assistant, if you prefer. Chained in the basement, where you file my taxes - wait, if I'm Emperor, I won't have taxes. Complete whatever paperwork I deign to have to fill out. Draft my policies and mastermind all my strategies 24/7. And run them by me so I can make sure there's no sneaky business going on."

"I secretly rebel against your command," Hokushin replies without missing a beat. "I bore you to sleep with an in-depth 2000-page policy analysis, then escape to the Human World. There I franchise Urameshi Ramen and open multiple award-winning locations."

Thanks to his deadpan delivery, I lose it at the non-sequitur and the accompanying mental image. It's all I can do to not lose focus on monitoring our target's activity.

When I can breathe and speak normally again, I say flatly, "I have nothing to say to that."

"Suppose I were to request Imperial pardon in exchange for a lifetime supply of noodles," he suggests helpfully.

I snort. "Acceptable." The rogue demon is on the move, and my responses grow more curt as I increase my concentration on tracking our target's position.

"Acceptable or accepted?"

"Mm. I'll think about it."

"Keep it in mind, if you ever do win the Tournament."

At that moment, all of the subtle changes build to a tipping point, and the landscape of the portal shifts in a brilliantly obvious cascade. Visually, it's as if the entire scenery is made up of millions of tiles, all flipping in a synchronized waterfall motion, revealing a completely different image on the other side. There's no longer any point in pretending we're blind to it.

Hokushin pauses. In a typically controlled manner, he says, "Hmm." But it's clear he didn't anticipate the dramatic change.

I look around. "Huh," I say, pretending to be surprised. "When did that happen?" The change indicates our quarry has integrated with the portal structure and is ready to make a bigger move. But it's not solid enough to be caught yet.

"Strange," Hokushin agrees, sounding equally discomfited. It's less of an act for him than it is for me. The rogue demon is somewhere behind him, shadowing him. Not surprising, since we already know my mental shields make the warrior monk a more appealing target. It's likely waiting for an opportunity, a moment when it feels sure it won't be noticed by either of us, no matter how frivolous our banter was and how unalert we seem.

I would give it that opportunity.

I flicker the sigil again to catch Hokushin's attention. _Follow my lead._

I step away from my partner, turning my back to him purposely, making sure his gaze follows my motion before I face the other way. I reach out, as if further investigating the changes in our environment. "This must have happened during our witty repartee," I say, balancing the low-key sarcasm of my words with a tone of seriousnesses. "I don't usually miss this sort of thing. Did anything catch your eye?"

Hokushin says nothing.

That was faster than I expected. "Hokushin?" I say. To make doubly sure, I wait two full seconds before I turn.

He's standing there, motionless, his gaze still in my direction, but unfocused and glassy.

I go to him and wave a hand in front of his face. He doesn't blink.

Out of the corner of my eye, I note a flitting shadow. Very good.

"Hokushin?" I repeat. At the same time, I edge a crack open in my mind barriers.

The shadow is still there. I ignore it, keeping it out of my main line of sight, and maintaining my attention on Hokushin. I repeat his name again, and put a hand on his shoulder and squeeze, then shake him gently, as if to try to break the vision he's lost in. He's responseless.

I can sense the shadow coming closer. Continuing to ignore it, I lean in closer to his side and bend down slightly. "What's tying you up?" I say softly into his ear.

 _Worry not_ , says a new mind-voice. _He is, as you have surmised, occupied with other things._

I look down to see a white, legless worm coiling at my feet.

There we go.

I eye it. "And that would be?" I ask.

 _A true vision of the world, where all those he served so faithfully, for so long, have abandoned him. For have they not? But it did not have to be that way. As the current world does not have to be this way for you. A mere peon to the Emperor, when you yourself have more than enough power to-_

"Took you long enough," I interrupt. "I was wondering when you were going to reel him in. Now we can have a conversation."

The other demon pauses. If a faceless worm can look taken aback, this one certainly does as it considers my words.

"A conversation," I repeat, with a hint of impatience.

 _Ah,_ it says slowly. _The Left Hand knows not what the Right Hand is doing._

"Nor does it need to," I reply. "You understand. Let's get to the point." I relax my posture, adopt more casual body language. "You heard me earlier. You would give me everything I desire?"

It quickly warms up to the not-so-subtle inquiry. _Everything_ , it purrs.

"All the power and glory I desire?"

The purr becomes hypnotic. _Yes, all the power. All the glory._

"Mastery over everything? Complete domination? Unquestioning servitude from all of my superiors and my colleagues?"

The feeling of complete ownership flows around me like a surrounding tide, as does a vision of the entire Demon World laid bare at my feet. _**Everything.**_

I allow a smile to cross my face, one I know it would detect from behind my mask. "Yes," I breathe. "I would like everything."

The air seems to hum, vibrate in intensity. _**You shall have it.**_

Faster than it - or most youkai - can dare to think, I reach out and snatch the shape that had been flitting at the edges of my awareness.

"But I must admit," I say flatly, "I'm highly skeptical of your ability to deliver on any of it, seeing as your performance leaves _much_ to be desired."

The worm at my feet melts away, and the rogue demon in my clutch gasps hard, writhing. It's the actual instigator, and not an illusion.

"I'll give you pitiful credit," I growl, holding it up to my face and fixing it with a baleful glower of contempt. I can feel it quaking, trembling between my fingers. "You've got a lot of nerve for a fucking impertinent worm. You're not worthy of crawling through shit from two generals of the Demon World, much less be in any position to make either of us believe you could offer _anything_ of value. Past that, your mind-scraping performance was beyond laughable." I tighten my grasp, digging into its gelatinous skull.

It squirms desperately as my demon energy leeches into its brain, boiling hot. _W-wait, wait, L-Lord Kirin, Right Hand of the Emperor, I beseech you, mercy, I was mistaken- I was misled- I swear-_

I shake viciously, rattling it hard. " _Shut up,"_ I snarl. "To add insult to irritation, I offered you two seconds of nearly unrestricted access to my thoughts and desires. I tried to make it interesting. I gave you cues. I dropped hints. And of all the rich, rated material you could have drawn upon, that lame, generic kiddie-movie posturing is the best you could come up with? My disappointment has no end. _Waste of living matter."_

The other demon's body grows in heat, building in pressure, cooking from the inside. _Please! No! Please! I-_

Its words dissolve into incoherent screams as it begins to steam and smoke. The scent of burning entrails fills the air. It writhes, shrieking for several seconds. The pitch grows higher, higher, higher-

And then it explodes.

"The problem with you people is that you have no imagination," I say, disgusted.

"Now how are we supposed to collect additional information for the Emperor?" asks a calm voice from my left, with just a touch of dignified annoyance.

I brush off the imaginary guts and gore, and turn to see Hokushin standing there, arms folded, sans glassy-eye-ness.

"Don't worry. It only thinks it's dead." I waggle the tiny limp body in my hand like a puppet. "A little electric shock therapy when we get back to the Makai should be more than enough to bring it back for probing."

"Ah," Hokushin says, mollified. "I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions."

"Were you worried?" I make an offended expression behind my mask. "You of all people should know my self-control is beyond reproach. And as I said, I do appreciate and value our collaborative partnership."

A hint of a smile cracks the corner of my partner's serious expression.

I toss the comatose body in the air with one hand and catch it. "So were you just standing there the entire time? Or did you really have one last vision thrown at you?"

"Don't do that," Hokushin chides, patting down my hand as I make to toss the worm again. "The latter. I admit it was a bit more convincing than the previous attempts, going for a despair theme instead. I assume it had more time to dig around in my head from earlier. But the setup made no sense." He shrugs. "I let it run, hoping the instigator would reveal itself. But it headed over to you. I scrambled to get out without its noticing while you were conversing. Why did you open your shield?"

"Same reason. I thought it would take the bait and reveal itself."

"A little risky. But it did."

"Not that risky. As you pointed out, it's terribly sloppy." I resist the urge to juggle my catch. "Did your vision bother you?"

Hokushin doesn't reply immediately. His hesitation is fleeting; most people would miss it. His expression is unreadable, neither sad nor pained, but for me, the minute delay in response speaks volumes. In the moment before he answers, I easily imagine the illusions he must have encountered. Most certainly his first two lords, and very likely Raizen and Yusuke. Perhaps there were others I didn't know about.

The worm was not wrong. It is in many respects true that all of them had, in various ways, abandoned him. That they had other things - other people, other priorities - more important to them than a mere rokurokubi raised to serve with unconditional loyalty.

He shrugs again, a banal motion. "It didn't tell me anything that hadn't already crossed my mind at some point over the past thousand years."

"The problem with being around for centuries is that even your own insecurities become painfully boring to you," I remark, and he half-smiles again.

"I suppose that's one way of looking at it," he replies.

"Your worth is clear," I continues. "I'm happy to remind you of that. As I mentioned earlier, the Emperor, and most of the staff, would probably cry if you resigned."

"Thank you," he replies. He looks at me, then down to the demon in my hand, and then back up at me. He cocks his head as if remembering something, and raises an eyebrow. '"'Rated material'?" He pauses again, then shakes his head. "Never mind. I don't need to know."

"Are you sure?" I ask jovially. "This adventure could have turned out very differently."

"I think we've had enough excitement for today," he replies in a tone of voice that suggests he's talking to a small child. He takes the self-imagined corpse from my hand and examines it. "Nothing for Yusuke, I'm afraid."

"How about I toss him a few illusions to scuffle with on our way back?" I offer generously. "I guarantee I can run a far more convincing and exciting confrontation than this thing."

He rolls his eyes. "No, don't do that. He'll hate that."

"Suit yourself," I say. I take my catch back and use my sorcery to compress it into a smaller package, encasing it in a flat, portable crystal for convenient carrying.

"I do as well," I hear Hokushin say as I wrap up my containment spell. "Appreciate and value our partnership, I mean."

I look at him. He's looking at me and smiling - a full smile, one that is genuine and comfortable. I return the expression.

After a few seconds of staring at each other, I realize and say, "Oh, just so you know, I'm also smiling behind my mask."

One corner of his mouth curls up a bit more in amusement. "I gathered as much," he replies.

I tuck the crystal into the chest pocket on the inside of my trench coat, and congratulate myself on a productive work day. Rogue demon captured, happy partner, no demerit points for the PPR (probably). It seems a good opportunity to bring the idea from our first trip up again.

"Now that our scheduled appointments have been pushed aside for the remainder of the day," I say, "How about a well-deserved vacation - or rather, professional development excursion to Odaiba Island? I still need to see that onsen theme park you mentioned."

I barely finish speaking when Hokushin's phone goes off again with the calendar jingle. I wait as he pulls it out and looks at it, then stops the notification.

"What was that?" I ask.

"Our rescheduled meeting. It's in 20 minutes."

"What?" I exclaim. "You only had Sasuga defer the meeting by-"

Hokushin interrupts me. "I felt we'd have this wrapped up by then. Was I wrong?"

"I suppose not," I say. Then I do a doubletake. "I thought your phone was broken."

"Ah." He looks at it, turns it over in his hand, then tucks it into his coat. "It appears to have started working again."

"You really expect me to believe that?"

"Human technology is odd, isn't it," he replies, pointedly ignoring my question. "Sometimes it seems to have a mind of its own."

I narrow my eyes. He looks back at me, gaze steady and expression neutral.

After a few seconds, I say, "Fine. It magically started working again." I raise an arm to redirect the free portal. "You said 20 minutes? I'll patch an opening to the destination in half that time."

"Excellent."

I snap my fingers. "Then coffee."

"No can do," Hokushin replies. "The lines will make us late. Try to stay civil for at least two hours and we can make a stop after the meeting. There's a Hoshino nearby."

"Perfect," I reply. And off we go, Left Hand leading the way. I hardly mind.

* * *

Author's notes:

The Left Hand and Right Hand of the Emperor are very (VERY) loosely based on the roles of _Sadaijin_ \- Minister of the [Emperor's] Left - and _Udaijin_ \- Minister of the [Emperor's] Right. These were major governmental functions during the Heian period. The Sadaijin was essentially the main government administrator, and the Udaijin his deputy. In _One and a Half Revolutions Around the Sun_ , Hokushin was picked as the head of Enki's working committee. While Kirin's physically stronger (according to the in-series stats comparison), I made the call that Hokushin's been working longer in the new government and is more adept at administration and negotiation, so he gets the slightly more senior position.

The explosive encounter between Hiei and Mukuro that Kirin mentions is in the Mukuro birthday story from the manga.

Making up Kirin's abilities is fun as heck. Whatever sounds reasonably arcane arts-ish. YEAH.

Hokushin's straight-neck formation also appears in the North Bound fancomic "Wrong".

3ccult is the idol group formed by Koto, Juri and Ruka in the manga at the end of the series. I started using this name instead of the standard translation (usually some variation of "Occult Trio" or whatnot) in my other fics, beginning with the _Ends of the Earth_ story 4: Travel Guide to the Makai. I think it more closely resembles real-world idol group names.

I described the idea of interdimensional portals a bit and how they've evolved 100 years in the future in the _Ends of the Earth_ series (stories 8 and 9) as well.

Shigure is alive at the end of the manga, which is obviously the route I picked for him. I think his death in the anime was totally unnecessary.

Sasuga is the youkai Rinku falls in love with at the Makai Tournament.

Nekotama (Nekobaba in the manga) is the giant cat demon that Yusuke fights in his first 1 on 1 round of the Makai Tournament.

Heian-kyo is the ancient name of Kyoto, the capital during the Heian period.

Hoshino Coffee in Tokyo has yummy souffles with chocolate sauce :Db (or at least they did when I went…)

Kirin and Hokushin talk about going to Odaiba Island and the family-friendly onsen theme park in _The enemy of my enemy is my coworker._ Maybe they'll finally get to go there someday…

Last but not least, the musical theme of this story is apparently Kelly Clarkson's _Love So Soft_ , which I had on infinite loop while editing because it's a ridiculously fun song.


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